All This Talk About Gay Weddings

From Anthony Navarro

Lately, I have been noticing so much chatter about gay weddings, gay weddings, gay weddings and it got me thinking. What is the difference between a gay wedding and a wedding? After giving this some thought, here is what I came up with!

First of all, in a gay wedding, the most obvious is that the couple is not going to be a man and a woman. It will either be two men or two women. With that, if you have two grooms you will not have a maid of honor, you’ll have two best men, or a best man and a best woman or maybe none at all. You also might not have a bridal party, you would have a wedding party. For all those wedding peeps reading this get that word out of your vocabulary. It will save you some awkward moments in the near future. But after I thought about this, the only thing that is different about a gay wedding couple and a wedding couple is the gender of the couples. Couples today have who they want to stand up with them and forget about gender. Man of Honor, Best Woman, Maid of Honor, Best Man and so on!

Another difference is that you might have a non-religious ceremony. This is where you would have an ordained minister or by an Internet source. I actually am ordained in case of an emergency! Only have had to use it twice and that is a completely different blog post! Gay wedding ceremonies will just not have the religious elements in them since they are not permitted in churches. Well, after thinking that through more, I do more weddings in venues and hotels than in churches, so I guess that is not it.

The reception maybe different where it’s not a traditional sit down dinner. They may want more of a fun cocktail party with food stations and such… and then I realized that was not it either. I have been doing those for years!


So besides the genders of the couples, what is the difference between a gay wedding and a wedding? Well, there is this one thing. You see, after “coming out” one of the things I realized was I could not get married anymore. It was this cultural rite of passage taken away from me because I was not going to marry a woman. So over the years I lost track of the thought of being able to get married. I had made the assumption that up until recent years I could never be married. I could be “committed” or “partnered” or “roommates” or in a “domestic partnership” but not married. There was no reason to dream or think of this big celebration because it was not going to happen.

Well now it can happen, here is where I had my “A-ha Moment!” and discovered where the real difference was! With the passing of the marriage equality bill in Illinois, all couples can be married. That is the key. MARRIED. Wedding reception or not, chicken or beef, tall centerpieces or short pieces, cake or cupcakes, 6 hour photo package or 10, first look or not, toasting flutes, cake knife and server, place cards or not, all couples can now be married. This takes place in the presence of their loved ones, to commit their love and lives to one another, they can finally, after years of thinking it could never be, now it will be. AND, that it is a legally, binding commitment and recognized by the state’s government. That my friends is the difference.

So all this chatter about what is he difference between a gay wedding and a wedding? Well, they are both weddings, but what makes it different is that when you plan, think, attend or participate it in wedding where the couple just so happens to be part of the LGBTQ Community, is that it was a life moment that was never dreamt to be possible. Do not let the burden of planning the wedding come into play, rather cherish the planning process and celebrate on the day of. You are not only celebrating the love between a couple, you are celebrating the freedom to love and how love will eventually, with determination and stride, conquer all opposition and win!

Love Is Liven It Up



  1. Congratulations – I believe that you have it – and a wedding is not the same as a marriage — one is the ceremony of beginning the journey together, while a marriage is the life-long journey sharing all that life brings – and walking the journey together.

  2. I love this. When I read the first line, “Lately, I have been noticing so much chatter about gay weddings”, I was compelled to click to see more. I am always compelled to hear what you say but this phrase is a thorn in my side. Why can’t we just say I am going to a wedding. Why does we have to designate the gender, the color, the religion or whatever of the couples. Can’t we just rejoice in their happiness and either attend or not but stop passing criticism’s. Love the blog. Thanks for being YOU and by the way, I love you TOO!

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